Guilt doesn’t feel good. Guilt feels like you have been naughty and feel bad. Kind of like when you get caught red-handed when you are a kid reaching for that chocolate biscuit in the cupboard. But you are an adult, and you think you should know better or be able to control yourself. And that my friend, is where the guilt comes from. You want to find out how to not feel guilty about eating.
I remember giving myself permission to eat anything I wanted one lunch with a friend. We sat on a picnic blanket overlooking the beautiful Cottesloe Beach while eating fried fish and chips. You know the kind that has a heavy sprinkle of salt and golden coloured tempura batter. It was bliss.
I felt the pangs of guilt start to rise. But then I reminded myself this was a decision I had made ahead of time with my best interest in heart. I don’t make these exceptions all the time because I love the way I feel when I put great fuel into my body. But I also don’t want to feel like I am deprived and restricted. I know I can plan these things for myself – and every now again I give myself permission to eat things that I know may make me feel lethargic and heavy. I know I am signing up for this, and that is OK. The great news is that when I have made the decision ahead of time and am not in the mode of ‘should I or shouldn’t I’, I get to enjoy the food without the guilt!
Guilt is the feeling that you experience when you have done something wrong, or not followed the rules. You then make that mean something about yourself like you are not capable, not good enough and that you are bad and have failed. YUCK!! Not only do we experience the uncomfortable emotion of guilt for not following ‘the rules’ but now we feel bad, disappointed and shame about not having self-control.
What if I told you that you get to make the rules? Things are not bad or good until you decide they are bad or good. And when you think something is bad, and you are bad, it makes you feel worse. It does not lead to you making lifelong changes for your health or stopping your struggle with food. Beating yourself up keeps you stuck, and it feels worse. So, let’s avoid the guilt.
How to not feel guilty about eating
Don’t call things bad or good
If you decide something you did is bad, then you are bad and feelings of failure, disappointment and shame set in. You feel worse. You might even reach for the extra glass or sweet treat to feel better or avoid feeling these uncomfortable emotions.
Give yourself permission to join in occasionally
Do this for yourself ahead of time. Then you will not feel like the kid with their hand in the cookie jar and out of control. When you know you CAN plan to eat foods that don’t support weight loss, you are not coming from a place of restriction or deprivation. You know you can have the food you will just plan it for another time.
Understand it is a choice
You made the choice, now own it. You are not out of control. You made the choice, now take responsibility. Giving away that power will not help you to make different decisions in the same situation next time. You can be in control; you just want to manage your mind around it.
The cost of not owning the choice or decision will make you feel like it is impossible to make a different decision, and that is simply not true. Stay conscious and aware.
Plan to enjoy the food or drink
You might notice there is a little resistance or niggle that reminds you this is not the best fuel for your body, but you have consciously chosen to eat and enjoy the food. Allow yourself to taste every bite and don’t beat yourself up afterwards. Use this as an opportunity to notice how it feels in your body. I often decide after eating the exception meal, that it didn’t taste as good as I had expected, or next time I will not need as much of it! It helps me to stay really curious as to how much I enjoy it.
You may be thinking, she is a weight coach, so why is she advising me to eat things that are not going to help me lose weight? The simple answer is because when you feel like you are restricting or depriving yourself or have an all or nothing mentality to your relationship with food, you are more likely to give up. I work with my clients to stop them from quitting and avoid yo-yo dieting and that means sometimes including foods that are not typically known to lose weight. It’s more like a strategy for the long game.
If you know you are an emotional eater and want to learn the tools to put the brakes on emotional eating. Schedule a call with me and find out if my Stop Overeating Program is a good fit for you. I also offer a power hour which many clients find useful to create a mindset useful for long term weight loss. Schedule a call HERE, or send me an email at rebecca@rebeccagoodacre.com
Have a beautiful day
