Sustainable weight loss has a great deal to do with the relationship you have with yourself. Are you mean and punishing toward yourself? Do you avoid standing on the scales or looking in the mirror? Do you call yourself names like ‘fatty’, or berate some part of your body for not looking like the magazine model who lives on lettuce leaves?
How does that make you feel? I am guessing a whole lot of judgement or sadness, which makes you compare and despair a bit more, and probably feel downright rotten. And… what do you do when you are feeling downright rotten? Probably eat a chocolate biscuit (insert favourite pick me up food here), to feel better.
But the problem is you don’t feel better. It makes you feel worse and disconnect from the amazing body you have. The body that has grown and birthed children if you are a Mum, and that manages a myriad of processes every day, many of which are automatic, and quite frankly mind boggling.
When you are ready to commit to losing weight, consider working on the relationship you have with yourself. Punishing yourself with diets and calling your body names when you exercise is tiring (and a little expensive) and will not last. Coming from a place of kindness and developing trust to follow through on yourself does last. It helps you continue to make small decisions toward weight loss. Decisions that you take because you care about your future self, because you are worth it and completely deserving of being at your ideal weight.
So, how do you do this?
Start by recognising the relationship you have with yourself now. How do you speak to yourself? What sort of tone do you use? Kind or berating? Do you feel like you are depriving yourself or taking loving action towards a future self? Do you eat things offered to you, so you won’t disappoint others, or do you politely say, ‘No thank you’ and not make it mean anything?
After asking yourself these questions, if you find there is some room for improvement in the current relationship you have with yourself, choose one or more of the below actions and decide situations where you can practice these.
- Speak to yourself in a kind voice, one that you would use with your best friend.
- Follow through on yourself by politely saying ‘No thank you’ when you would normally eat something someone offers you that you really don’t want. Their feelings are NOT more important than yours. In fact, many of my clients find it is a ‘non-event’ when they say, ‘No Thank you’. You may need to practice ‘No Thank You’ in the mirror a few times, so you do not look creepy and weird. People offer you things from a place of love, they may keep trying, so love yourself more and be brave and bold with your ‘No Thank You’.
- Have compassion toward yourself if you make a mistake. You are a human with a human brain, and we all make mistakes. Have compassion for that. Learn from your mistake. What could you do differently next time to get a different result? Remember, judging and berating yourself only leads to the chocolate cookie or favourite feel better food.
- Be grateful to yourself for the actions you do for yourself in a day. We are very quick to judge ourselves on the things that we didn’t get done or did badly in a day. So, start to change your mindset to look for the good things you DID do in a day for yourself. Making this a scheduled daily practice is amazing. Perhaps around the dinner table as a family practice, or just before bed in a journal.
- Drop the sentence in your head that says, ‘This is hard’. Instead, be open to believing you can do this. What is the alternative? Staying where you are? Taking action FOR yourself, feels so much better. And for the days when it doesn’t, focus on the good decisions you are making for yourself, and decide how you are going to make today better than yesterday.
Improving the relationship that you have with yourself is one of the many tools that my clients develop as they work through my Stop Overeating Program. There are many other tools and tricks to help my clients develop food practices and a mindset to lose weight, and continue to keep making decisions to evolve into a better version of themselves. If you want more information on how one of my programs gets you to your ideal weight, then let’s set up a free no obligation call via my contact page. Let’s see if this program is a good fit for you. What you want is important.
Have a beautiful day.
