During this lockdown you may be stocking up on more alcohol than normal to make it through, or to manage a difficult situation. You might say “It is my reward”, or “It makes me relax at the end of the day”. So why do you feel slightly out of control, and are perhaps drinking one, two or three more glasses a night than you feel you should? You may be starting to feel like you are drinking against your will, against your better judgement, and starting to feel like alcohol is controlling you. Alcohol was meant to make this experience better right?
But you are not feeling better. In fact, you may be feeling worse. A feeling of guilt, or a bit of self-loathing for not being able to stop after a few drinks, and before you know it you have finished the bottle. You might find that the more you drink the less affect you get from the alcohol to ‘take the edge off’, so you drink an extra glass to get that same feeling.
As a culture, we like to have a couple of drinks. It is seen as a normal behaviour in many societies throughout the world. It does not become a problem until you feel like you are out of control or experiencing results that you don’t want in your life. Results like not sleeping well, stumbling into things, a foggy head in the morning, or not feeling as alert the next day. You may find this has a knock-on effect which may affect your mood with the family, your productivity during the day if working from home, your patience while home schooling your kids, or just getting your daily jobs done.
You might think the only way to deal with this, is to give up alcohol. But you don’t want to. You just want to drink less.
You are not alone.
When you think you are alone and you that you should be able to handle this, the judgement and shame sets in. As famous researcher Brene Brown states, shame loves being alone. It festers and is not helpful or useful. It keeps you stuck.
So, what can you do instead?
- Plan for the week, or at least 24 hours in advance. Write it down somewhere. In your phone is fine. How many nights will you drink in the week? How many glasses do you want to drink that will help you reduce your intake? Follow your plan. Planning in advance uses the smart part of your brain. The part that is looking out for your future wellbeing. You will not be as reliant on will power in the moment if you make a plan the day before and have this on your mind before you have your first drink.
- Decide on the results that you don’t enjoy and experiment with your plan to see what improves your results. You can choose to cut back a little at a time.
- Understand that the more alcohol you drink over time, the more your body downregulates the affect of the alcohol to maintain the homeostasis or balance in your body. This is the reason you feel like you need more to get the same result. This increases your desire for alcohol.
- Don’t beat yourself up, this may cause you to drink more alcohol to escape the bad feelings you are experiencing.
- Share your concerns with someone you trust – talking about it gives you more perspective, reduces shame and will help you identify areas that are difficult and create strategies to obstacles you are experiencing.
I work with clients to help them uncover the thoughts that are causing their over drinking. Together we look at strategies and plans to decondition desires for alcohol and get back on track to drink in a way where you feel you are in control of your drinking.
If you feel like you are over drinking but unable to function in your day to day, due to an addiction to alcohol, then there are some great organisations that can provide you the support you need. One of the bigger groups is Alcoholics Anonymous or google ‘Support groups for alcohol addiction’ in your area. Whichever stage you are at, if you need some support, reach out.
Next week I will be sharing my personal experience in achieving my goal to reduce alcohol. I will offer tips that I have used personally to reduce my drinking and manage what may be perceived as ‘difficult situations’ like moving house, countries, quarantine, lockdown and children without over drinking.
Have a beautiful week and if you would like to find out more about my Stop Over drinking Coaching Program then drop me an email to schedule a no obligation call to see if it is a good fit for you.
Have a beautiful day.
